Chapter 3:..Know that you're the one for me..

Music by: Bachelor Girl- Permission to Shine
St. Paul- Only Reminds Me of You

"To success!" Sean hollered as he raised up the champagne glass he was holding.
"To success!" everybody said in unison.
"Here's to Blade, goodluck on your Asian tour and hopefully this isn't just a phase!" Phil joked.
Laughter was heard all over the living room of Sean's Lower Manhattan pad.
As I look at all the people around me, I couldnt believe that I really did make a decision and the string of events that led up to it would have caused someone his life with the shock that I've been giving them.

Three weeks had gone by and eversince the night I decided to never look back, I stayed true to my word. I never did.
Kirsten and Angela were so amazed, they have this ongoing bet how long I can stay true to my word.

I looked at my two best friends and smiled at them as i raised up my glass.

I've agreed to the original plan that the production team presented to me for the music video.
Their expressions were priceless when I told them i was willing to do a scene where i was dancing with Mario Winans wearing only a bikini top and short shorts.
The rest of the production team looked like they lacked sleep on the day of the shoot.
when I asked them about it after we were done, they told me they were scared the night before that I was going to back out and they made a back up storyboard just in case i turned conservative on them again.

No one from my production staff came to the send off party. I think they're still recovering from the shock.

Sean and the rest of Bad Boy's executive committee almost fell of their chairs when I told them that I was willing to push through with the Asian tour.
They kept asking me over and over if I was serious. That was the morning after I went clubbing with DMX, and they thought I was just suffering from a major hangover, thus they didn't take me seriously.
When I asked them the next day what their plans for the tour was, they all looked at me as if I had gone loony.
Phil, Sean's assistant keeps asking me if im sure about what im going to do.
Sean looked like he was going to have a heart attack whenI told him I wanted the tour to push through, but recovered quickly.
After having a short teleconference with the Warner label in Asia, the next day he was already off to Asia and making deals with advertisers and the record company. Bad Boy has no Asian label so he made an Asian merger between Bad Boy and Warner.
He just came back a week ago and the moment he landed on New York soil, he put me straight to work.
I see him look at me and i could see that he's very pleased with my decision.

DMX approached me and put his arm around my waist, I casually leaned on his shoulder and wiped away the sweat forming on his forehead.
We've been spending every free time we have with each other, and Mary J and Jin are amazed that I seem to have let my guard down when it came to Earl.
Yes, Earl, thats how i call him now. A good sign for him because that means I'm letting him into my personal life.
We're not officially together yet, but he is my constant date.
Of course, all our actions have been tabloid bait, but we've learned to not care about it.
We know whats true, and we're not exactly celebrities who have to maintain a cutie patootie image.

Ask me if I would have done all this a couple of weeks back and I would say probably not.
I'll be too conscious of the past to bother with the present and the future.
It also helps that I've been busy working and partying that I don't have the luxury of time to think about other things.

I've been so exhausted the past weeks finishing all my commitments in America and getting reacquainted with Asian entertainment that I almost backed out from this party and just preferred to go home.
But I'm glad I did the opposite.
It's been a while since I had an intimate gathering with my friends, far from the fans and far from people approaching you and asking you stuff.

"Hey! Hey! Turn the TV on, Blade's going to be on the Taiwanese cable channel!" Jin announced.
Diddy immediately grabbed the remote control on the counter top and tuned in to the Taiwanese channel.
You could hear a pin drop when the screen showed my face on the background with an Oriental looking man doing the entertainment news.
Good thing the newscast was in English because my Mandarin was very rusty and I probably couldn't speak a straight sentence to save my life.

Newscaster:Bad Boy Record's Rap Princess Blade is coming to Asia!
Yes you heard it right people, the half Filipino, half Taiwanese rap artist is coming to town. After sevral cancellations in the tour schedule, it's finally pushing through.
Bad Boy Entertainment's CEO and rap legend Sean "P Diddy" Combs came into town discreetly to negotiate with Warner Music Taiwan for a collaboration with one of their artists. So far no one's been chosen yet but it's expected that by the time she arrives, they will finally make a decision on who she's going to make a collaboration with. They also inked a two and a half million dollar deal with Coke Light, an all star Asian cast will be used for Coke Light's promotions in Asia. Coke Light is aiming to surpass the hype that the Nine Stars Ad has caused.


Everybody clapped when the news clip ended.
Sean immediately turned off the TV and didn't wait for the program to finish.
"Yo, Rap princess, are you still sure about this or it's causing you too much pressure you want to back out?" Sean joked.
"Dont give me ideas Sean, I just might do it!"i joked back.
"Oh heavens, please don't,"Phil said. "Were this close to having a heart attack."
Everybody laughed, then I looked at Earl. He looked so somber, apparently I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"Yo D! What's with the long face?" Sean asked.

"What a time to finally push through with the Asian tour, just when things are getting better between the two of us," he mumbled,"You guys are killing me!"

"Awwwwww!" Mary J, Kim, Sean's girlfriend, Kristine and Angela said at the same time.

"Oh come on, Im just going to be gone for a while!" I said, "Besides, it's not as if we're officially together, you can always go out with other girls. Just promise me you'll stay out of trouble."

"Oooohhhh!"Sean, Jin, and Phil said at the same time.

"Fine with me"he said nonchalantly, but I could see in his eyes that he wasnt happy with what I said.

No one dared to react anymore, coz they knew it might lead up to a heated discussion.
No one dared to ruin the mood.
Besides, I didn't want to leave New York with a heavy heart.

Sean cleared his throat and reached out for something in one of the shelves in his living room bar.
"Blade! Take this home! This is a list of all Warner talents and other asian artists. There are sample tapes you could listen to. Try to finish as many as possible so you wouldn't look like a lost human being when we arrive in Taiwan."
"Gee, thanks Sean, I wasn't a crammer back when I was in highschool and college, but now that I'm working, you're making me go through a major cram session."I complained.
"Sorry about that, it just arrived today. Anyway you still have tonight and tomorrow, then you can always read that on the plane."
I nodded, "Fine with me."

By ten pm, we decided to call it a night since everyone had to work early in the morning. Earl offered to bring me home but I declined because I knew he had made plans with Jin to go clubbing. I was out of the way from the club where he was going to, and besides, Kirsten brought her car to work so I'm going to be hitching a ride with her.

When we got home, we made a headstart in packing our stuff. Of course, Kirsten was coming with me since she's my production assistant, Angela, on the other hand took a vacation leave from work and decided to go with us to the Asian tour.

Angela and I were busy making her stuff fit in her suitcase when Kirsten barged in my room and had this look of panic in her eyes.
"What's up?"
She gave me the phone. I immediately felt my heart beating faster. I was thinking worst case scenario already, it could be one of my parents telling me something happened to the other one. It could be Diddy asking me to go overtime, but from the look on Kirsten's face, she looked like she heard a ghost on the phone.

"Hello," I said slowly when i answered the phone."Blade speaking"
"Yes hello, this is Olive Chen Su Dee from the management staff of Mr.Chou."
Mr.Chou!
No!
There are too many Chou's!
"Excuse me?" I asked.
"We're from the management staff of Mr. Jay Chou, and our artist declared his intention of wanting to do a collaboration with you."
I didn't know what to feel, if I was going to be relieved or disappointed.
I knew he wanted to perform too, but I wasn't too sure how keen he was with it.
Great! Days before the Asian tour and I'm back to thinking about him.
What would happen to my girls bets! Kirsten bet on a month, Angela, two months.
Poor them.No one would win.
Oh well, what they don't know won't hurt them.

Damn it!
Why can't I even go a month not thinking about him.
I want to be angry at him, but how, he didn't do anything bad to me.
It's just that he disappeared out of my life and left me with memories that I can never let go.
My mind is so willing but the heart just overcomes the mind.
I don't want to sound so cliche...but, you never forget the first person you love.


Oh shit!
Look what he made me do!
I accidentally tore away the profile page of one of Warner's artists!
Sean is going to kill me!

Now let me see who's the poor artist who had his profile tore apart by an emotionally charged lunatic?

What the heck?!?
What is this?
Is this for real?

"Kirsten!!!Angela!!!"
***
As soon as I got home from the Singapore leg of my tour, we went straight to working on my collabo album with Edward and rehearsing for the Beijing trip the week after.
We also got busy with taping advanced episodes for the Machi show, and doing guestings for Jacky Go Go, Young Guns and Tao Zi's show.
I was too busy to even think of her, or make an effort to forget her.
The night Vanness and I talked was also the night I painted the town red with my crew and VJ Denise.
I asked her out right after the interview, and she agreed to hang out with us right after my show.
At first it was a bit awkward because I knew she had a crush on Edward, but she assured me that she was over Edward and she didn't agree to go out just to be with Ed. As the night went by, we became more comfortable with each other. When the party started, we were huddled with my friends and some of her friends, but by the time the party ended, it was just the two of us in one corner of the bar looking like we've been a couple for quite some time now.
I don't remember what time I came in that night, all I remembered was Denise driving me to the hotel and giving her a long lingering goodnight kiss.
That kiss ended everything.
We never got to meet up before we left, MTV sent VJ Utt for the press interview.
I never got to ask for her phone number since I got so busy with her, I didn't want to break our moment and ask for her number.
I got so much teasings on the plane ride home when I confessed to them that I never did get her number and I never got to home run with her.

"Dude!You two were practically groping each other at Zouk! It's good we asked the staff to close it for us! Or else you'll find yourself in the tabloids!" Jeff raved.

"Then you tell us you never got to doing IT!" Nicky boomed."I pity you man!"

I smirked."Guys, i was drunk! If I were sober, I would have done it with her, coz I would have control of her. But I was dead drunk so I was on autopilot!"
They snickered. They knew I was just trying to play cool.
"Yeah man, tell that to the marines!" Steve chuckled.

From that day we left Singapore, up to now, three weeks later, I never got to reach out to her.
I've come up with so many excuses for my actions that I find myself believing my own lies.
I just couldn't admit to myself that I was turning into Jeff and Nicky.
I couldn't admit that I was getting into the Dating with no strings attached territory.
For the longest time, I was tagged as the Machi who's likely to get into a long term relationship while with the group.
But now I've joined the ranks of the players.

Just last week, we were in the waiting room of Tao Zi's show, waiting for our turn to be called. Jeff and Jae were on a business trip somewhere and I was tapped to be the spokesperson for every one. Nicky volunteered, said it was going to be a test on how far his Mandarin has improved. We agreed, but at the last minute, Jeff called and wanted me to be the one to speak up.

"Ummm...excuse me...is this seat taken?" a petite girl came up to me.

I looked at her and shook my head. "That's not. It's okay, you can take it."

She smiled and gave a curt bow. "Xie Xie!" she mumbled.

Chin, Tao Zi's assistant approached Machi, then called on the girl I was talking to a few minutes before he arrived.
"Please forgive me for my forgetfulness. It's just a tense moment every time its 15 minutes before the show comes on," he apologized. "Vickie, meet Machi. Nicky, Edward and Kenny. Guys this is Vickie from the duo Michelle and Vickie."
We made pleasantries with her, shook her hands then another girl who dressed like Vickie came in. She was introduced as Michelle.
While we were waiting for our turn, Vickie and I talked while Ed and Nicky were chatting with Michelle.
Turns out the two of them were just like us. Born and raised in America, working in their native land.
And she was a student at UCI too!

By the end of the night, we exchanged numbers and invited each other to each others shows.
After the show, I invited her for a snack, but she refused. They still had to do a show in Kaoshiong that night.
We just agreed to do it some other time.
Putting Vickie's rejection behind me, I went clubbing that night with Luke, Hiro,Nicky and Edward.
Met up with some girls, exchanged numbers, drank a little, just doing the typical single guy's lifestyle.

When we arrived back home, I was too exhausted from all the partying that I found myself laying down on my bedroom floor, looking up at the ceiling.
I was just about ready to stand up and lay down in bed when my message alert rang.
It was Vickie. She was responding to my message a few hours back.
Hey Kenny! Just got home from the show. What an exhausting day but I'm amazed I can't still bring myself to sleep.
My player mind was thinking she was just making up an excuse. She was really sleepy but she wanted to have a text conversation with Kenny Chou.
The geek in me thought it was sweet of her to text me back.

Another point for the geek in me!
I replied back and we found ourselves engaging in those long string of messages in one sent message type of conversation.The type where the message gets divided into three parts.
Two hours later we were still at it, and i was really enjoying our SMS conversation.
I felt like I was in high school again.

Two days later, she agreed to meet up with me.
I would pick her up at her house and we were going to have dinner and a movie.
I was driving on the way to their house, singing along to the song DJ Eric was playing on ICRT when the news report came after the song.

Blade is coming to Asia! Two days from now, Blade will be leaving New York and will do promotional shows in Hong Kong, China, Korea and Taiwan. She is expected to do a collaboration with some of the big Asian artists. It is said that Jay Chou has approached her management and wants to do a song with her. Chou refuses to comment on the story. Warner Music and Machi Entertainment is said to have approached Bad Boy Productions, but everything is still under wraps. What's clear now is that Blade will be staying in the region for a few weeks to do a song and shoot for an endorsement.

I almost lost control of the steering wheel.
Here I was on my way to have a good time with some girl, hoping that she'll be the one to make me feel in love again. As in wholeheartedly in love.
And then, the girl who was the first one to make me feel this way was coming to town.
With a big possibility that she was going to be working with me.

Damn!

Why now?

I don't need this right now, to get into an emotional trap when I've made my way out of it three weeks ago.

And why the heck were Jeff and Jae not telling me anything. Jeff grew up with me, he knows all about my story with my princess.
He's just not telling me, but I know he thinks that my burn out's main cause is because of her.
Eversince her latest album got released in Taiwan, I was begging for a break.

And what about Jae?
He usually tells me all his plans for me, why the heck have they gone quiet with this piece of news.

I tried calling them on their cellphones, but both of them were out of reach.
As if knowing whats going on in my mind. Vanness sent me a message.

"Dnt b 2 cocky.Ur not even sure if she's goin to pick you. Dnt wri abt it too much"

I laughed when i read the message.
He had a point.

I just wasn't sure how I was going to react if she didn't pick me.
Will I be relieved?
Or will I be disappointed?

Then another text message came up.

It was from Joan.

"Coke Light management just called up. It's all systems go for the commercial shoot a week from now. They said you have to shape up for the ad."

I replied back, asking her who was I going to work with.

I almost threw my phone outside when I read her reply.

"Vickie of Vickie and Michelle, Steven, Namie Amuro, Vivian Hsu, Rain , Kwon Sang Woo, and BLADE!"


***