Chapter 7

Music by: Jojo- Weak

Trying to rekindle our friendship is like having a concert and getting full support from the people around us. You know you have a lot of people behind you, willing to be with you and willing to go through anything just to help you achieve your goal, but at the end of everything, when the smoke has cleared, all the blame or credit will go to you, the main artist.

Or in our case, the both of us.

That is if we both want the same thing.

Problem is I don't know what I want anymore.

Before it was all simple, reunite with her and pick up where we left off.
But with the way things are, I don't think it's possible anymore.

I have Vickie, she has DMX.

Jill's a very special girl and will always hold a special place in my heart.
But whatever we had is all in the past now, I've moved on.
She's my past, Vickie is my future.
And from the way I've observed things the past two days, I'm sure she has moved on too.
She always looks happy whenever DMX calls.

All I have to do now is tell these stuff to her.
Even though other people might think there's no need for an explanation, I know I need to do this.
For closure.
To avoid thinking that I have unfinished business with her.
And this is what my mind is telling me.

But how do you tell someone you loved for fifteen years of your life that you've moved on and you just want to be friends, when deep in your heart you know that your heart is aching for her. That everytime you see her, you just want to run to her and give her a hug. That everytime you listen to her struggle with her Mandarin, all you want to do is sit near her and help her out.

"Dude!!! Snap out of your coma! I'm telling you, how could you get back to the way you were, when you guys have not had a decent conversation since she arrived."

Did I just say everybody was willing to support me through all of this?
Ladies and Gentlemen, Nicky Lee, my voice of reason. Sometimes.

"We can only do so much Kenny. If you dont do anything, then what's the point of supporting you and chiding you to go talk to her. This is all going to be up to you."

See what I mean?

Our conversation was interrupted when my phone rang.
It was Jeffrey.
"We're coming!!! Just got stuck in traffic!" I said as I answered.
It was the day after Blade's arrival and Bad Boy arranged a party to celebrate Blade's arrival on Asian soil and the merger of Bad Boy and Asiatix.
Jeff was nervous about the event, he wanted to please Diddy, he's been a nervous wreck this morning and we weren't helping the situation since we were already running late.
"Hurry up then! The press people are here already!" Jeff said.
"Calm down Jeff, that's just the press, we dont really have to impress them. I'm worried about Diddy and Blade, are they there yet?" I asked.
"Nope! Your princess has not arrived yet!" Jeff answered.
"Shhh! Someone might hear you!" I hissed.
"Who will? I'm in the car!" Jeff replied, "Just hurry up already!"
"We're comin man! Hold your horses!" Nicky shouted into the earpiece.

"Ey guys, can we pass by 7-11 first, I'm getting hungry!" Edward pleaded from the very back seat of the van.
"No can do Ed! Jeff's losing hair by the minute already!" Nicky answered.
"You ate before we left! How could you be hungry again!" I asked, "No wonder you've lost your six pack!"
"Ey!!! I'm a growing boy! Besides, I lost some of the weight already!" Ed protested, "I don't dream of letting my nipples dance on tv anyway so its fine! That's your job!"
Gabe, Steven, Nicky and Ed burst out laughing, while I had this dumbfounded look on my face.
Later on, I found myself laughing with them, and Nicky and Steve were staring at me.

"What the... is there dirt on my face, I laugh with you guys and you just stare at me?"I asked.
Steven smiled, "Nothing, I just noticed something different tonight. You look relaxed man, your smile looks genuine, and your eyes are twinkling."
What are these guys saying?
"Yeah man, the past few days you looked so stressed and uptight... you look so.... so.... sunshiney today!" Nicky replied.

Sunshiney??? Where the heck did he get that word???

"Are you guys turning gay on me?" I asked

All four of them gave me deadly glares and gave me the middle finger
"You wish, Chou!" Ed hollered.
"Can't you accept a compliment? Geez!!!"Steven said
"A thank you would be enough," Nicky mumbled and rolled his eyes.
"You're not pretty enough!" Gabe retorted.

"Then whats with the comments!!!"

"Coz that's how we see you right now!" Nicky exasperatedly said.

"So before, I didn't look happy to you guys? Didn't look like someone who can brighten up your day?" I asked.

"Well, at least to us you didn't...your fans don't know how your looks changed over the years... and how the Kenny look we used to know is coming back now..." Steven answered.
"Jill really has a different effect on you!" Nicky said.
I scowled at him.
"Dont scowl at me, man. I know you got your mind set on Vickie, but the heart is saying a different thing. It's just up to you! Mind over heart or heart over mind!" Nicky said as he thumped me on the chest.

"Dude, we're curious. What really happened at the poolside yesterday?"Steven asked.

Nosy big men!

I didn't tell them what happened at the poolside yesterday.
I don't know if it still stands, but Jill and I made a pact before.
Whatever happens between us, or whatever we talk about, not unless other people are directly involved, will be kept between the two of us only. It was our way of making people stop meddling with our friendship.

I smiled at them. "It's for the two of us to know, and for you guys to find out!"

Nicky smirked, "Well i guess we're going to find out now!"

"Huh?"

He pointed at the driveway going to the venue's parking lot. P.Diddy and his bodyguards were walking to the entrance, while another car was following them, and I could see from the silhouette that it was the girls.

I smirked at Nicky, "You wish!"

I knew Jill wasn't going to give in to Nicky.
Or to anyone.
Specially when it came to our affairs

"Ey ey!Don't go down yet!" Nicky hollered, "Kenny!!!"

They keep on telling me I should go talk to her, that I should make the first move.
Well, I'm going to do it now!

Here I go!!!
***
"Will you two stop staring at me like that!"

I don't usually get conscious when people look at me. I've gotten used to people scrutinizing me from the stage, but these two, my own friends are giving me the creeps. They've been at it since I got out of my bedroom, and now we're a few meters away from the party venue.

"There's really something different in the way you look tonight."

"Probably just the make-up" I dismissed, "I used a different color for my blush and eye makeup"

Kirsten shook her head."No, that's not it!"

"The outfit?"Angela asked, "But no...we're used to seeing her in this kinds of wardrobe."

"Would you two just stop it! What's different with my torn jeans and tank top? I know it's been a while since I wore a bandanna, but I'm sure it doesn't make me look any different?"

The two sighed and started mumbling.

"What are you two up to?" I suspiciously asked them.

"Nothing! You don't get it anyway," Angela answered.
"Yeah! We didn't know seeing Kenny would make your brain cells rot!"

"What the..."
"We've been trying to fish from you since last night and you haven't been talking!"
"What happened at the poolside? We're dying to know! We asked the boys and Kenny won't talk."
I laughed at the two. They looked really desperate to get information from me, "That's what you get for being nosy!
"Wellll....what happened?" Kirsten said.
I smiled at the thought that Kenny was still holding on to that pact that whenever we talked, as long as it involved only the two of us, no one can fish anything from us.
"Don't just smile at us Jillette!"Angela frustratingly said.
I giggled, "Sorry girls, I'm not talking!"
"Jill!!!" they both begged, "Please!!!"
Someone knocked on our window. It was Diddy.
Angela opened the window.
"Girls what are you waiting for? We're here already! Come on down! People are waiting!" he announced.
"Yeah Sean, go ahead, we'll follow! I'm just going to fix up!" I said.
Sean looked at me curiously, "You? Recheck your make-up? You hardly do that!"
"I do so!" I defended myself.
"Whatever you say!" Sean said as he left us and walked with his entourage.
"See! Even Sean notices the difference in you. First your looks, now you recheck your look?You're not Blade!" Angela said
I waved her off, "I do so! Stop being on my case already!"
Kirsten fixed my necklace, "For your information, I do the rechecking! Not you!"
I sighed in annoyance. These two were getting on my nerves already.
I positioned myself so that I could go down the car already, I was in between the two so I stood up, sat on Angela's lap and reached out for the lock.
"Aray ko!(ouch!)" she complained.
"Sorry girls! Im going!" I said as I tried to open the door.

"Jill!!!" Tin shrieked.
I opened the door with all my might , then turned to her irritatedly, "Whaaattt???"

Then I heard a male voice from outside groan in pain, "Ouch!!!"

I looked outside.
"Oh my gosh!!!" I shrieked."Kenny!"
***
"Ouch!"
I was all ready to knock on their door and invite them in already.
Ignoring the boys hoot's and hollers, I approached the car.
Just when I was about to knock already, I felt something stab me on my stomach down to my legs.

"Oh my gosh!!!Kenny!!!" I shrieked. I immediately got out of the car and checked on him.
He looked okay but I wanted to make sure he was alright.
"Are you alright? I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I said.
Angela and Kirsten had already alighted from the car and looked with concern.

I looked at Jill, who looked really concerned at me.
I don't know how it happened but the pain slowly subsided as I looked at her.
"Yeah, yeah Jill, I'm alright! Don't worry about me, that's just a door!"
Angela and Kirsten had this amused look on their faces.
"You gotta excuse her Kenny, she's just really out of it today!" Kirsten said, "Jet lag!"
"No worries!" I said to her, "Hey it's nice seeing you again, I wasn't able to greet you last night. Got too busy!"
"Oh that's fine! It's nice seeing you again too!" Kirsten politely said.
Nicky, Steve, Gabe and Edward approached us and checked out what happened.
"Hey dude, you alright?" Gabe asked.
"Yeah man! I'm alright!It isn't the first time it happened to me."

Kirsten,Steve and Edward were giggling when they heard what Kenny said. It was true. That wasnt the first time it happened to him,and it wasn't the first time that I was the one who caused it.
Steve started humming "Memories!"
Kenny nudged him, then looked at me, "So are we just going to stand here or what? Let's go in already!"
"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked.
Kenny smiled and patted me on the shoulder, "I'm perfectly fine!"
"Alright! Then let's go then!" I said.

The guys started walking ahead of us, then the girls, then Jill and I walked beside each other.
Just like old times.
I didn't know if this was the right venue to remind her of things, but if I wanted to be the one to start working on our friendship, then I had to take the risk.

"Just like old times huh?" I asked

She nodded, "Yeah!Just like old times!"

I was about to ask another question when Joan caught up with us and made us hurry to go inside.
Someone called on Kirsten's mobile that made the girls hurry up inside. Something about an MTV greeting.
I looked at Nicky, "Denise doing it?"
He shook his head, "Nah! I heard it's Katherine!"
"Good!" I said.
I wasnt ready to see Denise again. Much more with my childhood sweetheart.

Since we got in, I've been going around and talking to people, that I haven't had the chance to mingle with Kenny and the guys. I saw Vanness and Jimmy come in, but I couldn't even come up and say hi because Sean wanted me behind him.
When we passed by their table, I could only wave at the two guys then continued trailing Sean.
I needed to pee so bad that in the middle of Sean's introduction of some of his friends in Taiwan, I excused myself to go to the restroom.

Denise arrived but she looked like she was in a hurry.
I didn't know what to do so I went to the restroom near the exit and watched from there if she was going out already.
Nicky and Stanley were picking on me, but I didn't care.
I was watching Jill go around too. I couldn't take my eyes off her.
I've seen her bloom on newspapers and magazines, but it was different seeing the real thing.

"Kenny! What are you doing there hiding from the people!"

I guess I got too mesmerized that I didn't realize she was heading for the restroom.

"Huh? Oh nothing, just wanted to be away from the people for a while!" I said as I scrambled to fix myself.

"Yeah right!What are you up to?" she teased me.

"Nothing! I Swear!"

"Yeah alright! Whatever you say!" she said in a singsong voice as she made her way to go in the female restroom.

"Hey Jill! Wait" I said as I let go of the mens room door and went out already.


I looked back when he called me.

"I forgot to tell you, you look really nice tonight," he said to me with a sincere smile.

"Thank you! You too...you look...good," I said

He smiled again, then looked at me, "Save a dance for me later?"

I nodded, "Sure no problem! But are you sure no one will stab me from the back if they see me dancing with you?"
I was teasing him and fishing at the same time.
"Dont worry, you'll be safe," he assured, "Trust me!"

He waved at me and smiled as he walked back towards the party area.

I looked back and saw her smiling at me before she went back in the restroom.